by Heidi Wilhelm
Tess’ birth was fabulous. She was born on Ash Wednesday, Feb 9, 2005. Since my two previous births had been at night or had started at night, I asked this baby to start labor after breakfast and a shower. I also requested that she (I thought I was carrying a girl) be born by 3pm (so my adrenaline would be low enough after birth to let me sleep that night), in the water, and head first. Tess agreed to all these requests.
On Wednesday morning, Guy had a meeting at work until 9:30. At about 9am, it felt like we might have an exciting day. I called his voice mail at work to ask him to come home after the meeting, but not to rush. Everything was fine. By then, I had already eaten breakfast and had my shower and gotten dressed. The kids were playing with Mema, my mom. I just wandered around the house and would squat whenever I felt a surge. I was hoping I could help them be really efficient.
Guy arrived home around 10:15 and we started timing the surges and making a log. I felt fine. By late morning, I decided to call Ruth, our midwife. Ruth asked if she could make a stop before coming over, and I said, “Absolutely. We have plenty of time.”
Zach went down for his nap and I called Brandi, our doula, whose role was to be available for the kids if they wanted to be present for the baby’s birth. I asked her to come over around 2pm, when I expected Zach to be awake.
Ruth arrived around 12:30pm and observed me during a few surges, and asked me how long I had been working so hard to get through them. I answered that I wasn’t working hard, and she repeated the question, more forcefully. I realized then that this was Ruth’s first HypnoBirthing, so she wasn’t familiar with normal HypnoBirthing moms’ behavior. She really wanted to know how long the surges had been feeling that strong, so I told her that it had been around 90 minutes. She immediately called the other midwife, Marlene. Marlene was at Ash Wednesday services and she would be over when they were finished.
Because I didn’t want to get into the water tub too early, Guy and I went down to the basement TV room to watch Friends on DVD. I went to the bathroom and realized that the surges were getting pretty strong. I wanted to stand through them and lean heavily on Guy. We decided to go upstairs and get into the birthing tub we had rented from Waterbirth International. It felt really good to get into the water. The room was quiet and dim. My music was playing. When Zach awoke from his nap, Guy took him downstairs to play with Mema and Kate. I was on my hands and knees in the water. I got out of the water to go to the bathroom, which was a pretty cold walk on a cold tile floor. As I sat on the toilet with Guy to my right and Ruth to my left, I started shivering even though I was wearing my bathrobe. Ruth asked me if I was cold or if I was shaking for another reason, and I said probably both. She told me that if I wanted to have a water birth, I had better get back into the tub, so we shuffled back into the birthing room.
Kate came up to visit and sat in Marlene’s lap for a little while. Because my eyes were closed, I wasn’t aware that Marlene and Brandi had arrived, nor did I know about Kate’s visit. Everyone was really quiet. Guy got into the water with me and I draped myself over his shoulders. I would vocalize with each surge and got to the point of wondering when the baby would be born. I didn’t feel like we were making any progress. (I had not had any internal exams.) I realize now that those thoughts were the final hallmark of labor – wanting the birth to be over. Indeed Tess was born at 2:52pm, less than an hour after our doula arrived. I experienced the birthing reflex when the birthing body pushes the baby out. I think she was born in three or four of the expulsive surges. What power our bodies have! She weighed 8lbs 4 oz and she looked exactly like my other two children. We must be making clones around here!
Having a home birth with Ruth was absolutely amazing. The birth was peaceful, quiet, and all mine. Of all my births, I’ve never felt safer.